By Teri Lynn

Feature Blog

You don't have a weight problem, you have a weight "symptom".

Everyone wants someone or something to blame, eh? What we have is cause and effect confusion.

Let’s get it said right away. Every woman who is dissatisfied with her extra pounds hates the “skinny bitch”.

Green is the new black

The upside down coffee break - a universal cure all

April 17, 20236 min read

“You can’t trash and pollute your body and expect to have perfect health.”
Charlotte Gerson, The Gerson Therapy: The Proven Nutritional Program for Cancer and Other Illnesses

The new coffee enema - an upgrade to a universal cure all

raw green coffee beans

Putting coffee up your bum is definitely counterintuitive to the sane. Putting anything up there is, for that matter. But so is living in a human zoo with all the regulated temperatures, footwear that blocks grounding to earths electrons, chemicals slathered on skin, sitting all day, eating kibble and I could go on.

So, don't scoff at something that seems "wierd" when you engage in "wierd" practices that defy human biology everyday. "Wierd" is quite subjective.

Did you know that coffee enemas, if done properly, can relieve pain due to an analgesic effect? They also boost glutathione levels a LOT, help constipation, aid liver and gall bladder cleansing (which comes with a whole BOAT load of benefits) and much more. I will not cover all the details of why coffee enemas are badass (pun intended) here. I do that on my weekly member calls: . But I will offer upgrades to a popular practice that has been done sub-optimally by many, one major piece in particular.

Coffee basics

Common coffee is one of the most toxic substances you can ingest. It's not the beans' fault, it's the processing. It ends up full of mold and cooked to death. Roasting kills the beneficial compounds, namely the Palmitic and Chlorogenic acids.

Chlorogenic acid

These are the two main properties in coffee that need to be capitalized on if you are going to put in the effort. And few talk about the fact that the raw green coffee beans are where it's at. Coffee in this virgin state can also be brewed and drank for a therapeutic effect. The darker the bean the less caffeine (say that 3 times fast)! You want a caffeine boost? Drink it. You want a calming effect? Use it as an enema and hold it for 15 minutes. Go figure.

With green coffee you cannot just buy the whole beans. They are like little pebbles and you would need an industrial grinder. So, buying semi ground beans is necessary. Organic is necessary. And not buying from Amazon is necessary, since there is a practice of dying beans green and selling them as such. True story.


Here is a link to a reputable store that has all the supplies needed. The woman who runs it knows her stuff.

The process

So, you're wondering how to get started once you have your supplies?

*One caution is that you cannot do coffee enemas within 1-5 years of chemo, depending on the details of your health. Releasing this toxic medicine into your body too soon can be deadly. If you suffer from diarrhea do not do coffee enemas. Start with Chamomile tea instead and use cool water to strengthen the colon. Otherwise, everyone from pregnant women to very ill folks would greatly benefit.

  1. Start off with a stainless steel or glass pot with 32 oz of distilled or filtered water.

  2. Bring to a boil then add 3 tablespoons ground green coffee beans.

  3. Boil for 3-4 minutes with cover off to release oils, then cover and turn down to a simmer for 10-15 minutes.

  4. Cool enough to swirl your finger in comfortably and strain out beans.

  5. Position your enema bag or bucket 18-20 inches above your bum such as on a counter or chair. Oil the tip generously with aloe vera, coconut oil or castor oil etc.

  6. Lay down on your back or get on all fours, gently insert lubricated tip 4-8 inches into anus and slowly release valve to allow flow. Pause if cramping is felt by shutting off valve. When cramping stops continue flow until the 32 oz is administered.

  7. Lay on right side in fetal position for 15 minutes. If you cant hold all 32 oz, release the first amount and administer the rest holding as close to 15 min as possible.

  8. Release after 15 minutes or so and rinse out bucket with clean water then hydrogen peroxide.

More upgrades

The best time to do a coffee enema is right after a bowel movement. This may seem obvious but if there's poo in the way then your urge to defecate will be extremely strong once you introduce any kind of liquid. This is the whole function of an enema. But we need to hold the coffee for many minutes so we need to eliminate this possibility. So, because many of us cant sync up our bowel emptying timing to our enema practice or we are not on a predictable pooping schedule then I suggest doing a small distilled or filtered water enema first to clear some space.

An upgrade for the water is to supplement it with urine. I know, I know. I won't get into urine therapy here but it can be used as a clean (yes, it's clean) therapeutic substance for all kinds of reasons. If I have the time I like to do a final flush after I release the coffee and urine is a good choice to rebalance the colon microflora afterwards and it's very healing.

Since the green coffee is opening up bile ducts while administering beneficial compounds in the coffee it would be a great time to add other goodies since you liver will be open to receiving! Liquid minerals , oregano oil (5-6 drops), enzymes, green juices, colloidal silver and iodine are good choices.

If you feel worse after and can do another one, wait a couple hours and repeat. It's a sign you are releasing toxins and need more, not less. You should feel fantastic after. Feeling worse could also be a Hydrochloric acid deficiency since a lot of bile was just released. In that case, you can put 3-7 HCL caps in the coffee solution and see if that makes a difference.

Doing coffee enemas during a fast helps the liver tremendously because cleansing programs put a burden on the liver since its job is to detox everything coming through. Cleansing programs will aim to reduce daily metabolic burden while freeing up old waste. Your liver will benefit from your assistance.

When is Ideal? According to Ayervedic medicine between 3-4pm is optimal. But any time is ok except on a full stomach. After a light meal or green juice is best. A green juice powder I like can be found here:

So, there you have it! Green is the new black. Get on the train or be left behind. See my website for a ton of resources and informational videos on how to holistically detox. Join the members group for all the support you need for only $10/month.

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